It is a very painful feeling, which is difficult to explore and face for most people because it is the feeling of not being good enough.
Shame has such a dominating influence on us, because we are often not even aware it is there within us affecting our behaviours and undermining our attempts to make positive changes in our lives. Uncovered shame can have such authority over us that it can manifest in a range of emotional and physical health problems ranging from anxiety and depression to addictions and psychosomatic illnesses.
By facing our shadow side, the dark parts of us we do not like to explore, we empower ourselves. What is hidden within us has power over us. We reclaim our power by uncovering our hidden feelings of shame. It is a necessary step on the road to health and happiness as the more self-awareness we have, the more control and choice we have over our thoughts, emotions and behaviour. We need to overcome our fear of what lies within us, as denying and hiding our shame will keep us trapped. Counselling is a wonderful tool in helping us to explore those hard to face feelings that may be creating many problems within our lives and preventing us from reaching our full potential. Self-awareness liberates us from the hidden shame and subconscious processes influencing our thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Here is a self-help suggestion of how you may begin exploring, by yourself, those hidden feelings. However, please note that for many people this process can be too difficult to face alone, and most individuals would certainly benefit from my counselling support.
Practicing the process of taking quiet space to explore your feelings by yourself on a regular basis will help you to manage and understand your difficult feelings better, whilst assisting you to become more mindful of how your thoughts are influencing your daily life. This is a similar process to how you can explore yourself within the counselling space with support and guidance.
Note: Sometimes being alone with strong negative feelings can be very frightening. At these times it may be more beneficial to go for walk or engage in some other form of positive physical activity to distract yourself from your feelings until you feel able to find some quiet space to be by yourself to turn within, or speak to a counsellor.